why is life so fucking hard?

[puzamu]

i'm miserable everyday because of alot of things: fear, bad job, general anxiety, repeated failures, past trauma. i feel like its so hard to get out, i try really try hard sometimes to defeat this inner destroyer within myself, but then i fail fail and fail, it always beats me. Everytime i try to do good or better myself or try to not give up or try to just be myself or try to be a certain personality or try to be a certain way or try to just be, it inevitably comes to an end, and i end up back being miserable, depressed and just lost in volition. I know there is no end to this, because i know i probably won't ever give up in trying to find my forever bliss solution which i know is there somewhere. what is going on??? help me, i know i keep posting these threads, but what can i do?
_____________
Courtesy eBaum's

[ArmsMerchant]

We all create our own reality.

First of all, you need to realize that there is nothing to fear. Fear--and it's cousin Guilt--are your only enemies.

Second, you need to live in the moment--it is the only moment you have or will ever have. When you live fully in the moment, you will transcend fear. Think about it--you never fear what is happening right now--you are too busy dealing with it. You only fear what might happen. What's more, you attract what you fear, so you get yourself into a neat little negative feedback loop.

Third, forget about "everlasting bliss." This is not a desireable condition--it gets boring. It IS possible to live in a state of more or less constant joy, however, punctuated with moments of ecstasy.

Fourth, if you desire to be happy, simply make up your mind to be happy. There is nothing else you need to do, nothing outside yourself you need to have in order to be radiantly happy.

Fifth, forget about having expectations. When you expect anything, you not only tend to push it away, you set yourself up for disappointment, disillusionment, and resentment. Embrace uncertainty, but live in the sure and certain knowledge that each moment is just as it should be. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don't struggle against the infinite scheme of things; accept it.

[Star Wars Fan]

the asnswer is 42

And armsmerchant explained much of it in a ice way

[Dream of the iris]

Armsmerchant pretty much summed it up. Reality is subjective and it's all up to you whether you want to live in misery or bliss.

My best advice to you is to take a yoga class. A real yoga class, not YMCA yoga. Particularly Kripalu yoga if it is available near you. I used to be in a similar situation as you, but after taking yoga and really focusing on being present, in the here now, I was able to transcend fear. Of course, I still fear things from time to time, but life is much better.

[RAOVQ]

this guy is a troll and in all odds banned by now. don't expect a reply.

[-SpectraL]

We all create our own reality.

First of all, you need to realize that there is nothing to fear. Fear--and it's cousin Guilt--are your only enemies.

Try shouting that sentiment to a truck bearing down on you, as you stand in front of it on a busy freeway.

Second, you need to live in the moment--it is the only moment you have or will ever have. When you live fully in the moment, you will transcend fear. Think about it--you never fear what is happening right now--you are too busy dealing with it. You only fear what might happen. What's more, you attract what you fear, so you get yourself into a neat little negative feedback loop.

Ya. The rent can wait. Who cares if there's no pay-check coming in 'cause work can't be found? Just wait 'till the last day of the month, when you're living that moment on that day, then worry about it. Until then, don't give it a second thought; just concentrate on the moment.

Third, forget about "everlasting bliss." This is not a desirable condition--it gets boring. It IS possible to live in a state of more or less constant joy, however, punctuated with moments of ecstasy.

Officer Stedenko: I'm sorry to inform you, Sir, but your mother has been strangled, raped, then dumped and fed to pigs on a pig-farm.

Son of murdered mother: Not a problem my little piggy-lookin' friend! I'm good! I'm in my "constant joy" state, and you can't touch me! Uhhh... Want a toot?

Fourth, if you desire to be happy, simply make up your mind to be happy. There is nothing else you need to do, nothing outside yourself you need to have in order to be radiantly happy.

Wile E Coyote operated on the same principality, did you know that? He just knew they would work, and so they did. It's simply a case of mind over matter! Skate-board, a fan with a long extension-cord mounted on the rear, a sail ahead of the fan, and viola! - off he goes with his fork, knife and white bib!

Fifth, forget about having expectations. When you expect anything, you not only tend to push it away, you set yourself up for disappointment, disillusionment, and resentment. Embrace uncertainty, but live in the sure and certain knowledge that each moment is just as it should be.

Without expectation of reward there can no hope. Without hope there can be no endurance. Without endurance there can be no trials. Without trials there can be no refinement. Without refinement there can be no life. Of course there are moderations to every expectation, but the "embracing of uncertainty" is only another name for laziness. Unfortunately, laziness does little to better mankind's current predicament.



This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don't struggle against the infinite scheme of things; accept it.

Hmmm... the older brother of "You can't beat the system." Well, if there was only one scheme, that would be a fine idea. When in Rome do as the Romans do. However, that's not the case in this ongoing battle between good and evil that we currently live inside.


p.s. Sorry General Armsinshower. I just couldn't idly stand by and let you destroy the human race as we know it! heheh :)

[qazwsx]

what do you do when it seems strikingly undeniable that other people may not be sentient beings in the same way that I myself know I am?

[AngryFemme]

Ya. The rent can wait. Who cares if there's no pay-check coming in 'cause work can't be found? Just wait 'till the last day of the month, when you're living that moment on that day, then worry about it. Until then, don't give it a second thought; just concentrate on the moment.


Man, if that ain't the truth. And did I ever learn that the hard way!

Future Planning FTW.

[Rizzo in a box]

We all create our own reality.

First of all, you need to realize that there is nothing to fear. Fear--and it's cousin Guilt--are your only enemies.

Second, you need to live in the moment--it is the only moment you have or will ever have. When you live fully in the moment, you will transcend fear. Think about it--you never fear what is happening right now--you are too busy dealing with it. You only fear what might happen. What's more, you attract what you fear, so you get yourself into a neat little negative feedback loop.

Third, forget about "everlasting bliss." This is not a desireable condition--it gets boring. It IS possible to live in a state of more or less constant joy, however, punctuated with moments of ecstasy.

Fourth, if you desire to be happy, simply make up your mind to be happy. There is nothing else you need to do, nothing outside yourself you need to have in order to be radiantly happy.

Fifth, forget about having expectations. When you expect anything, you not only tend to push it away, you set yourself up for disappointment, disillusionment, and resentment. Embrace uncertainty, but live in the sure and certain knowledge that each moment is just as it should be. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don't struggle against the infinite scheme of things; accept it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Ventured]

Life is hard so that you don't end up a pussy.

[OMr_duckO]

Let me tell you about the Be-Do-Have paradigm, and how most people have it reversed.

Most people beleive if they "have" a thing (more time, money, love-whatever), then they can finaly "do" a thing (write a book, take up a hobby, go on vacation, buy a home, undertake a relationship), which will allow them to "be" a thing (happy peacefulm content, or in love).

In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), "havingness" does not produce "beingness," but the other way around.

First you "be" the thing called "happy" (or "knowing," or "wise" or "compassionate," or whatever), then you start "doing" things you've always wanted to "have"

The way to set this creative process (and thats what this is... the process of creation.) into motion is to look at what it is you want to "have," ask yourself what you think you would "be" if you "had" that, then go right to being.

In this way you reverse the way you've been using the Be-Do-Have paradigm - in actuality, set it right --- and work with , rather than against, the creative power of the universe.

Here is a short way of stating this principle:
In life, you do not have to do anything.
It is all a question of what you are being.

[ArmsMerchant]

this guy is a troll and in all odds banned by now. don't expect a reply.

You may be right. It doesn't matter, however.

The neat thing about the universe is that you tend to get what you require regardless of whether or not you ask for it. My wife calls it "living in the flow"--which is why someone gave her a state of the art gaming comp, and a place to live.

Evidently my reply was helpful a few members, and some of the further replies were helpful to me--and were duly pos-repped.

[Dark Angel]

I don't know... try drugs. A bit of LSD ought to put you in a better mood

[Thunderhammer]

I suppose the only thing that i can advise the OP to do is to stop trying so hard.

Imagine a peice of elastic, and you need to wrap it around two points which hold some distance between them.

Trying too hard to do it will result in the elastic snapping, and then you'll never be able to try again until you get another peice of elastic.

If you don't try hard enough, people call you a pussy.

I could blather on about how everything that exists holds balance within it's place of reality and how nothing can be forced to do something that it cannot (like turning water into fire.) but i'd rather not.

[---Beany---]

I wonder if fear even is an enemy. Can't it be used? It gets adrenaline pumping and makes us temporarily more efficient.
I think dread is an enemy since that limits is through avoiding things, but fear, can't we embrace it and use it as a driving force?

[Dream of the iris]

That's a different kind of fear. Of course your going to be afraid when your life is in danger, but you shouldn't be afraid of mundane things like paying bills or something like that. Everyday life should not be scary and you should have nothing to fear from it. Life was not meant to be lived in fear.

[ArmsMerchant]

One is far more efficient if one lives in the present. There was never a time in your life when it was not the present, and there never will be.

Thing is, when you fear, you are either fearing something that hasn't happened yet, or thinking of something fearful that happened in the past. When some sort of crisis does arise, you are too busy dealing with it to be afraid.

[TheVizier]

Fear and guilt are a complete hindrance to our present lives. I discovered it is best to live right now, right here, and to worry tomorrow. So tomorrow you will be living right there, right then... and the cycle continues. Life is hard because things that get too easy become boring and useless.

[Thunderhammer]

like all enemies, fear can be manipulated for one's personal use.

But even then i see fear as merely a waste of energy imo.

[ArmsMerchant]

This same exact thread--down to the same misspelled words--was posted in Humanities. I smell a rat--possibly a rat with multiple accounts.

[AngryFemme]

This same exact thread--down to the same misspelled words--was posted in Humanities. I smell a rat--possibly a rat with multiple accounts.

Actually, this post was left standing here the day the spam attacks went down forum-wide. I deleted all the other "Courtesy eBaums" threads from here that day except for this one ... simply because you had posted in it with such helpful, sage advice that it would have seemed a bit disrespectful for me to delete this one.

Cheers to you, Arms - for turning a spam thread into a meatier thread with actual discussion. IMO, that's the best way to get back at these spamming fools.

:)

[-SpectraL]

Just as premium wheat is sifted down until all the chaff is removed, and the way steel is produced from super-heating then cooling the base material, so trials and tribulation refine the very soul for what lies ahead. All will be good in the world.

[ArmsMerchant]

Just as premium wheat is sifted down until all the chaff is removed, and the way steel is produced from super-heating then cooling the base material, so trials and tribulation refine the very soul for what lies ahead. All will be good in the world.

With all due respect, we domesticated primates are neither wheat nor iron ore. The above sounds good, for maybe ten seconds, and to someone with scant experience with real life.

In practice--much more often than not--you will find that people who undergo "trials and tribulations" simply become embittered, defeatist, angry people. And are likely to take it out on their offspring, producing people who are incapable of having healthy relationships and who create their own "trials and tribulations."

We all have within ourselves a god or goddess in embryo-- but I rather doubt that any sort of violent sifting, heating or cooling will bring it out.

[Rizzo in a box]

What goes up, must come down?

[OMr_duckO]

With all due respect, we domesticated primates are neither wheat nor iron ore. The above sounds good, for maybe ten seconds, and to someone with scant experience with real life.

In practice--much more often than not--you will find that people who undergo "trials and tribulations" simply become embittered, defeatist, angry people. And are likely to take it out on their offspring, producing people who are incapable of having healthy relationships and who create their own "trials and tribulations."

We all have within ourselves a god or goddess in embryo-- but I rather doubt that any sort of violent sifting, heating or cooling will bring it out.

This is true. I've built up quite a lot of negativety, after i've been wronged, and i can't seem to get rid of it.

[Star Wars Fan]

This is true. I've built up quite a lot of negativety, after i've been wronged, and i can't seem to get rid of it.

Note that this is not advisable to follow:

Get back at the motherfuckers then. DO a columbine. Kick their ass with friends. And Street justice for all!

[shuu]

.

you need to live in the moment--it is the only moment you have or will ever have. When you live fully in the moment, you will transcend fear. Think about it--you never fear what is happening right now--you are too busy dealing with it.

Embrace uncertainty, but live in the sure and certain knowledge that each moment is just as it should be. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don't struggle against the infinite scheme of things; accept it.

You sound just like Charles Manson

[-SpectraL]

With all due respect, we domesticated primates are neither wheat nor iron ore. The above sounds good, for maybe ten seconds, and to someone with scant experience with real life.

In practice--much more often than not--you will find that people who undergo "trials and tribulations" simply become embittered, defeatist, angry people. And are likely to take it out on their offspring, producing people who are incapable of having healthy relationships and who create their own "trials and tribulations."

We all have within ourselves a god or goddess in embryo-- but I rather doubt that any sort of violent sifting, heating or cooling will bring it out.

And with all due respect to you, kind Sir, I would tentatively point out that within the process of a refinement is the stage where an attempt to remove the waste is performed. If the process then produces an unusable end-product, it is simply discarded because it was flawed of its own accord. If we look at the entire human race in the same light as the individual, only the pure will come out at the end of the tunnel, flawless by their own accord. The rest will simply be discarded as useless.

[ArmsMerchant]

Actually, this post was left standing here the day the spam attacks went down forum-wide. I deleted all the other "Courtesy eBaums" threads from here that day except for this one ... simply because you had posted in it with such helpful, sage advice that it would have seemed a bit disrespectful for me to delete this one.

Cheers to you, Arms - for turning a spam thread into a meatier thread with actual discussion. IMO, that's the best way to get back at these spamming fools.

:)

Thank you for clearing that up--good call.

[ArmsMerchant]

You sound just like Charles Manson


He a friend of yours?

[Slave of the Beast]

And with all due respect to you, kind Sir, I would tentatively point out that within the process of a refinement is the stage where an attempt to remove the waste is performed. If the process then produces an unusable end-product, it is simply discarded because it was flawed of its own accord. If we look at the entire human race in the same light as the individual, only the pure will come out at the end of the tunnel, flawless by their own accord. The rest will simply be discarded as useless.

Uh huh...may I take this as a thinly veiled reference to the 144,000 'chosen ones', whom alone get to make it through the Pearly Gates?

In any case, whatever you arbitrarily define as 'flawless' inherently assumes that the environment in which an organism exists, remains static long enough to allow it to achieve a 'perfect' state of interaction with that environment. Given that the environment in which humans exist is in a constant state of flux, your concept of reality, as per usual, is fundamentally flawed.

[ArmsMerchant]

In my own Belief System (BS, to use RAW's phrase) we are all perfect just as we are. That does not mean we have no need to grow.

An acorn is perfect in its way, but it is a long damn way from being an oak tree.

[-SpectraL]

Uh huh...may I take this as a thinly veiled reference to the 144,000 'chosen ones', whom alone get to make it through the Pearly Gates?

It's true that only the ambassadors between heaven and Earth group, those qualified through the successful completions of trials and tribulations of the heart, get to take their assigned thrones in the New Government. But the other group, the "Great Crowd", will also have shown themselves "useful" through faith accompanied by works, which translates to successful trials and tribulations, which translates to a final shedding of the impurities of imperfection.





In any case, whatever you arbitrarily define as 'flawless' inherently assumes that the environment in which an organism exists, remains static long enough to allow it to achieve a 'perfect' state of interaction with that environment. Given that the environment in which humans exist is in a constant state of flux, your concept of reality, as per usual, is fundamentally flawed.

Very true. At the end of this particular stage of the game, the environment will be forced into a static state, so that those who survive as perfect earthly creatures fit back perfectly into the new-world ecology, incidentally not really a new one, but a very old one, which existed before the beginning of our current escapade.

[shuu]

It's true that only the ambassadors between heaven and Earth group, those qualified through the successful completions of trials and tribulations of the heart, get to take their assigned thrones in the New Government. But the other group, the "Great Crowd", will also have shown themselves "useful" through faith accompanied by works, which translates to successful trials and tribulations, which translates to a final shedding of the impurities of imperfection.






Very true. At the end of this particular stage of the game, the environment will be forced into a static state, so that those who survive as perfect earthly creatures fit back perfectly into the new-world ecology, incidentally not really a new one, but a very old one, which existed before the beginning of our current escapade.

What the fuck are you on about can you explain it more clearly? Why do you beleive all this and where did you get these ideas?

[Slave of the Beast]

What the fuck are you on about can you explain it more clearly? Why do you beleive all this and where did you get these ideas?

Whenever you see references in his posts, to things such as the human race being 'purified', it's a fair bet to assume he's talking about the End Times, and the earthly paradise that will follow it.

It's Spectral's own peculiar version of Christianity. A version in which only 144,000 'true believers' make it into Heaven/paradise/first class. That's why I don't bother with it, the odds are just appalling. 144,000/1 billion Christians x 100% = 0.000144% chance, or there abouts, of 'making it'. With Islam all you have to do is convert someone and you've got your golden ticket 100% guaranteed. With Buddhism the worst thing that can probably happen is that you come back as a bonobo ape. With Spectral-anity there's a rough 99.999856% chance Satan will plunder your perky little bottom, even if your good all your life.

I tell you man, it's a buyers market.

[shuu]

Whenever you see references in his posts, to things such as the human race being 'purified', it's a fair bet to assume he's talking about the End Times, and the earthly paradise that will follow it.

It's Spectral's own peculiar version of Christianity. A version in which only 144,000 'true believers' make it into Heaven/paradise/first class. That's why I don't bother with it, the odds are just appalling. 144,000/1 billion Christians x 100% = 0.000144% chance, or there abouts, of 'making it'. With Islam all you have to do is convert someone and you've got your golden ticket 100% guaranteed. With Buddhism the worst thing that can probably happen is that you come back as a bonobo ape. With Spectral-anity there's a rough 99.999856% chance Satan will plunder your perky little bottom, even if your good all your life.

I tell you man, it's a buyers market.

Well I'd like to hear from him about why he beleives it

[-SpectraL]

Well I'd like to hear from him about why he believes it

I believe in it because it's the truth. But what the Slaver fails to tell you is that its not only the 144K who will survive the Greatest War, although it is only that exact number who will take invisible thrones in the new heavenly government, a government which will crush and put an end to all miserably-failed worldly governments, but there is also "a great crowd which no man is able to number, who will also actually push through to the end as well, although right here on Earth.

[Winnebago]

I believe in it because it's the truth. But what the Slaver fails to tell you is that its not only the 144K who will survive the Greatest War, although it is only that exact number who will take invisible thrones in the new heavenly government, a government which will crush and put an end to all miserably-failed worldly governments, but there is also "a great crowd which no man is able to number, who will also actually push through to the end as well, although right here on Earth.

Could I ask you where you got this knowledge? I think we know the same god, but he gave you some other instructions. :)